We encounter this stern warning: "Demeaning or derogatory names or phrases are not acceptable."

Ken L.
hahahahaha so no "RUN NEGRO RUN"?
Sara S.
no "Truck Nutz for John McCain"
Ken L.
Oh he would only notice really old-fashioned derogatory names and phrases.
Jim N.
no, that is acceptable for mccain
Ken L.
So, no BALDERDASH banners
Jim N.
yeah, not even the TINIEST picture of a lady's ankle!
Ken L.
RAPSCALLIONS MOST UNWELCOME!

Personalized McCain Outdoor Banner [JohnMcCain.com]

1. The site itself should look basically the same, and should function in basically the same way, only better.

2. But it's a website, on the Internet, which is a computer-based system, so of course some stuff is going to be way fucked up. If you see something weird, do us a favor and check again in an hour. If it's still weird/broken, please sends us a note to the tips@ address with the subject line WONKETTE ES BROKED REPORT. (And please include your browser, browser version and operating system.)

3. YOU MAY HAVE TO RE-REGISTER TO COMMENT. We don't know, for sure. But we warned you, long ago, last month (?), that we would require a new comment system, as the old comment system is actually just our little corner of the massive, billion-user Gawker Media commenting system, and it was impossible to take that with us, plus it does not belong to us. It is Gawker's. (So you will still have your Gawker commenter logins/post pages/etc.) We are trying to move over as many of the old comments as possible. Hopefully they'll be there tomorrow. If you have a God, pray to it.

4. That's about it. Moving a five-year-old politics site with tens of thousands of individual posts going back to when Howard Dean was running for president, that is no easy task. The very good people at Pressflex and BlogAds are making this happen, with the very nice help of the fine peoples at Gawker. Thank you Henry, Miklos, Gaby, Nick, Gabriela, Tom, Levente, Scott, Zoltan, Erin, Zsolt, Jory, Christopher ....

5. And thank you nice people for reading, and commenting, and forwarding, and tipping, and for your Patience during the move, the end.

There will be TWO magical fundraising events today in the Salt Lake City area, both attended by our current president. One will be held in the afternoon and one will be held in the evening... and the afternoon event, with only George W. Bush and John McCain to recommend it, has encountered a distinct lack of interest:

Two Republican sources familiar with the event said that response to the afternoon fundraiser had been lackluster, prompting the campaign to move the event to the private residence.

Tickets were still available Tuesday afternoon.

However, Mitt Romney's evening fundraiser will do just fine, as everyone in Utah still loves Mitt. It costs $70,000 per couple to attend.

Bush to stump for McCain in Utah [Salt Lake Tribune]

ABC News' Eloise Harper notes that she and the other traveling press had numerous questions for Hillary, who hasn't held a press avail since May 15 — right around when the Clinton Bullshit Meter went cosmic, making Hillary incapable of responding coherently to any question about her latest "disenfranchisement" motif. But Ms. Harper clearly does not realize that Hillary has been on vacation since May 15!

Enjoying a lighter load on the campaign trail with two stops in South Dakota Wednesday and two stops Thursday Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton played tourist at Mt. Rushmore, ignoring questions and telling the press to "learn something about the monument".

While the New York senator enjoyed the site, she was surrounded buy a U-shape of cameras hoping to get a shot of her looking at the monument while a traveling staffer insisted on standing in front of the her to block the shot. When the staffer refused to move after many calls from the press and other staffers, Clinton turned around and said "this is a tourist occasion."

A reporter attempted to ask Clinton if she could see herself on the famous monument. Clinton just raised her hands in the air and said "I" and sighed. Another reporter asked "Do you think Bill Clinton should be up there?" Clinton didn't answer and said "why don't you learn something about the monument."

"Scott, we now know, is disgruntled about his experience at the White House. For those of us who fully supported him, before, during and after he was press secretary, we are puzzled. It is sad — this is not the Scott we knew.

"The book, as reported by the press, has been described to the President. I do not expect a comment from him on it — he has more pressing matters than to spend time commenting on books by former staffers."

wuz bummin in the street then i got married to some guy. married a guy who has a name like bob or steve or other name. saw george bush in mexico at barbecue & he had a wife to. every1 said hi was very nice and gits me a jobb. ari fleischcher with the no hair and the talky bout 9/11. THEN MCCLELLAN i DONT LIKE BOB MCCLELLAN GRR. then tony snow had fever and quit. then i had job the end.

From: Krazihottkelli@aolcom

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

If hillary getz screwed over by obama,

white voterz and uz Florida voterz will

make sure we put MCCAINZ WAR MONGER AZZ IN

Charley Crist, My Florida govenor moved up

our primay so he could be john mccainz

vice prezident...my votez not going to

count..thiz iz my very first vote in my

WHOLE EFFEN LIFE ..AND ITZ FOR HILLARY

AND HE STOLE IT..AND I'M PIZZED...SO IF

HILLARY DOEZN'T GET IN...THERE ARE GOING

TO BE A BUNCH OF PIZZED OFF WHITE WOMAN

THAT WILL BE REALLY TO KILL OR FIGHT

SOMEONE..MAYBE EVEN A WHOLE EFFEN COUNTRY.

ZZZZ I WANT MY EFFEN VOTE/I WANT MY HILLARY...NOW..SHE HAZ THE MOZT
VOTEZ..AND

THE '''BATTLEGROUND KEY STATES ''' THAT

BEATZ MCCAINZ 666 YRZ. OF WAR..

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

McCain is hoping that he'll be able to snare support from disaffected southern California Clintards once Hillary drops out of the race. Of course, they'll have to overlook the fact that he hates abortion, healthcare, peace, and other things that your mom cares about. Will McCain's crazy plan work? Probably not, which is why he'll waste millions of dollars and months pursuing the Hollywood vote — there's nothing he loves more than a losing cause.

Here's what sad old Dick Van Patten (who to his credit makes some top-notch dog food) has to say about being a McCain supporter in Hollywood: "I'm all alone ... I feel isolated. Nobody agrees with me."

Straight Talk Express stalls in Hollywood [Politico]

The city council is trying to get rid of this clown however it can.

It will likely follow the obvious path, which is that the council president, a monster named Shrek, says "WE GON REMOVE KWAME" to his friend Donkey, who is Eddie Murphy in Furry get-up, and then Monica Conyers is the evil purple dragon, the end. Wait, what? Oh, right: the city council can begin removal proceedings at the discretion of the council president, and probably will.

The council did, however, vote to request that Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm use her magical girl powers to remove Kilpatrick from office — a largely "symbolic" measure. But Kwame is a Man's Man and does not like symbolism, which is why he VETOED THE MEASURE yesterday in hilariously tyrannical fashion:

But Bill Goodman, the council's attorney, said Kilpatrick's veto will have no impact on the proceedings that could lead to Kilpatrick's ouster. That's because only one person's written request — in this case from council President Ken Cockrel Jr., acting on behalf of the council — is needed to begin the process, Goodman said.

Goodman called the mayor's logic "lunacy" because the charter prohibits a mayoral veto on quasi-judicial actions.

UPDATE: Oh right! How could we forget this horror?

After telling the Boston/New England Emmy organizers that Bill O'Reilly was a dangerous bullying mental case, Nolan took his cause to the People. That's right: he handed out pamphlets at the actual award ceremony, and these pamphlets contained quotations by the mental case bully himself, Bill O'Reilly, so everybody knew exactly what kind of behavior those awards were honoring. Nolan writes:

[O]n May 10th at the Emmy Awards dinner, I quietly passed out a document that contained - not my opinion - but O'Reilly's own words and quotes from his sexual harassment lawsuit. And that is what got me fired. I got fired from my job on a news and information network for reporting demonstrably true things in a room full of news people.

So chalk up one for Bill O'Reilly, one for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and negative one million for Truth.

Barry Nolan: The Story Behind My O'Reilly Protest [Think Progress]
Anchor Spun From Job for O'Reilly Protest [ABC News]

So you should go right out and buy his book, because now he's sorry.

In excerpts from a 341-page book to be released Monday, Scott McClellan writes on Iraq that Bush "and his advisers confused the propaganda campaign with the high level of candor and honesty so fundamentally needed to build and then sustain public support during a time of war."

This would be hilarious, if not for the hundreds of thousands of people who've been violently killed in this war, including more than 4,000 U.S. troops.

Next year, look for Dick Cheney's heartbreaking memoir of staggering bullshit, "Mean People Suck."

Ex-Bush spokesman: President used 'propaganda' to push war [CNN]

Ha ha, we cannot prove Hillary meant to drive this car into Jimmy Carter, in July, which was very late in the primary season — a primary season that would feature, a year later, in 1980, an especially bitter contest between Carter, who was at that point a very unpopular one-term president, and Ted Kennedy, who almost took the Dem nomination from an incumbent. But this photo was taken in Kentucky, which is Hillary's "home town," and there's really no reason for her to drop out of the race until Carter is dead.

Anyway, if you like to look at such awesome old pictures, such as this one, you should go to the National Press Club at some point between June 3 and July 12. This AP pic and some 80 others are going to be displayed in this exhibit called "The American President":

Washington, D.C. — "The American President," an exhibit of compelling news photos from the Associated Press, will be on view at the National Press Club, 529 14th St. NW, from June 3 to July 12.

The display will be open to the public from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. Monday through Friday and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday. Admission is free.

The exhibit shows American presidents at war and at ease, in victory and in defeat, confronting national crises and facing personal scandals, running for office and leading the country on the world stage.

Here's what these people are doing for their lost candidate instead of sleeping on Saturday morning:

Supporters of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton are organizing to march and then gather on the street outside the panel's meeting, scheduled for Saturday morning at a hotel in Northwest Washington.

"They're coming up on buses, they're taking the train, they're Metro-ing, they're coming up with friends," said Allida Black, a professor at George Washington University and an event organizer. "We're trying to flood it."

Condi's trip to Google headquarters with the Bud-Cort-like British foreign minister was THE focus of the last seven days, and why not? Rice was "determined to show him life outside Washington," and considering the toxicity of the atmosphere inside the beltway, this was probably an appealing time for a vacation to far, far away Mountain View, California. That's Condi, above, behind the podium, wrapping up her Thursday visit to the bucolic technogeek farm. Inspired by this shot, let's turn the narrative over to the Condi Hand Turkeys to guide us through this special event:

Board memberships convenient to Stanford, cynics may add. But what's this about Condi getting practically blacklisted by the Sunday gab-fests? It's true, according to this survey of gab-fest professionals. "Everybody got really tired of the spin," they griped. ""She's under the rug in the living room," one of them added, bizarrely.

Well, Google-dude is right about Condi saying, "I tell my students that policy-making is 90 percent blocking and tackling and 10 percent intellectual." John Brown at prwatch.org picked up that ball and ran with it in one of the meanest and most thorough assessments yet of Madame Secretary's performance in the White House and at Foggy Bottom. I can has legacy?

Note to the guy at Jewish Comment: if you want to write an article about Condi as presidential material, it would probably help to not allude to Gawker's famous Ferragamo shopping spree anecdote. Just saying!

The latter claim by the Hand Turkeys is true! It's easy to forget that despite all the griping about Condi at the State Department, she still has die-hard fans in her entourage there, and I talked to one on Saturday night at DC's noteworthy leather bar. I won't say what he does for her (get your minds out of the gutter, sickos!), but he did claim, hilariously, that Condi was a "good deal for taxpayers" because of, you know, of all the places she goes and all the people she talks to and all the wonderful things she does (tralalalalalala!). Chastened by this newfound knowledge that the Iraq War and the failure to recognize Al-Qaeda as a domestic threat constituted a "good value," I was nevertheless unable to maintain a straight face when he concluded by saying, "There's no fluff." Then I was imagining all those vapid photo-ops? Say it ain't so!

Say what? People at the State Department drawing mustaches on the pictures of Condi, Bush 'n' Cheney at the State Department? The ingrates!

And that brings us to the event itself, the trip to Google. What a bore. Miliband, who claimed to enjoy his visit to "Southern California," didn't seem to know where he was or why he was there. As for Condi, talk about vague on torture: "I want to repeat that we do have a law now that - the Detainee Treatment Act, which, in fact, gives greater definition to the way that we should think about issues of interrogation." Who needs excuses when you've got utter meaninglessness on your side?

And, finally, yes, Condi wants more nukes, an opinion sure to endear her to her Northern California (*Ahem*, Mr. Miliband) audience. Asked by CNBC on Friday about gasoline 'n' stuff, she of course immediately brought out her dog-eared "cut down our addiction to foreign oil" talking points. Her solution? Increase our addiction to domestic oil, natch! And when that's not enough, just add a dollop of the fabulous "clean technology" of nukes. Yay! Hey, you don't get your name on the side of a tanker for promoting wind turbines and solar panels, suckers.

Veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) explores the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America's Favorite Princess Diplomat™ each week at Wonkette!

PREVIOUSLY: Condi Classic Sitcom Reruns

Here is Your Barry "pinch-hitting" for Ted Kennedy at the Wesleyan commencement this weekend. He talked about how you should serve your country and have big ambitions. Be sure to watch all the way through to the end, when Grimace comes out and fellates a donkey. [YouTube]

Apparently he quit his post as Reagan's Secretary of the Navy in a fit of pique, so he will probably quit the vice presidency as well, due to his miserable Scots-Irish temperament. Then he will retire to his Virginia home and joyfully place his young son's penis in his mouth, to the discomfort of all.

How the VP Debate Misses the Mark (cont'd) [The Plank]

* Say What? Hillary Clinton Does it Again [New York Times Editorial Board]
* Paging Dr. Freud [Andrew Sullivan]
* Clinton for VP? Maybe Not Now [CQ Politics]
* Clinton suffers brain lock [News Press]
* Clinton staying in just in case of an assassination? [Dallas Morning News]
* Hillary Brings Up Kennedy Assassination, Press Freaks Out [Fox News and don't miss the comments]
* Hillary's Foot? Meet Hillary's Mouth [Newsweek]
* Why stay in the race? Clinton invokes RFK assassination [Newsday]
* Not The First Time [Ben Smith]
* Five More Superdelegates For Obama, Including Clinton Defector [Political Machine]